Why We Can All Bounce Back Better

Resilience is in danger of becoming a buzzword these days, as we are living through difficult and challenging times. It is defined as the ability to recover from negative events, which life demands of us all from time to time. The good news is, resilience is not a fixed character trait that we are born with and can’t change, but a mindset that can be learnt by anyone.

Psychologists have researched the power of resilience, and discovered that people often respond differently to the same or similar negative events. For example, some children who have suffered adversity in their early years, and might be expected to become ‘not so perfect’ adults, sometimes defy expectations and go to be successful.

The growth mindset

Resilience is about more than working hard and refusing to give up after a failure. In some cases, this may be all it takes of course, but often simply trying the same thing over again will lead to the same disappointing result, which can be extra discouraging when we have devoted more of our time and effort to the problem.

Instead, we need to employ what psychologists call ‘the growth mindset.’ This is the opposite of a ‘fixed mindset’ which can trap us into negative patterns of thinking. A growth mindset allows you to take an objective look at a problem, rather than telling yourself that you are no good at something.

Say if you were turned down for a course or job, instead of giving up or repeating a similar process again, you would alter your strategy. For example, if some of the feedback said you lacked experience, you might look into how you could gain that experience through voluntary work, or an online learning programme.

The power of positive thoughts

It is impossible to avoid negative emotions all the time, and indeed this wouldn’t be very healthy either. Keeping them locked up can lead to anxiety, stress, and depression. Psychologists believe that people cope with their negative thoughts and emotions better if they are also good at accessing their positive emotions.

Because the mind tends to have a negativity bias, which is a natural product of human evolution to keep us safe from dangerous situations, we often don’t take as much happiness and pleasure from the good things in our life as we could, or indeed, should.

Making time for things we enjoy or people we love can help to remind us that we have much to live for and look forward to in life. If this does not feel possible for you right now, you could try keeping a gratitude journal, by writing down five things that you are thankful for, or brought you joy and happiness during the day.

Nobody’s perfect

Finally, resilience is also about forgiving our mistakes. We are all human, and everybody fails sometimes. Judging ourselves too harshly will only discourage us from trying again. In fact, failure is often a great learning opportunity, and can teach us to go after what truly makes us happy and fulfilled in life.